Understanding Roles :
She had two kids for him during the affair ; wrote this long epistle about their relationship , tried to validate her affair, tried to portray the man's wife as bad , and mean to him .
While of course, she the side chick , was his lord and personal saviour .
She further explained that when this man eventually died , she went to his burial , saved her hair , mourned him more than his legal wife and other bla bla !
Me, just rolled my eyes while I read her story ; and before anyone comes to her defense and say don't judge !
I am about to judge her; so deal with it !
Listen , the major problem we have in our society , Nigeria to be specific , is that most of us misunderstand our roles in relationship, in the work place , in the church and in the society.
That's why you will see a mother in-law /sister in-law , trying to play a wifes' role to their son/brother , you see husbands , trying to play the role of God to their wives . You see gateman trying to be the accountant ; you see pastors trying to play the role of God in people's lives !
Every husband and wife , every relationship, every couple , do have their issues , their struggles , their unique dynamics , and challenges .
As a side chick that you choose to be , it is not your responsibility to :
sex the man out of his marriage !
To procreate him out of his marriage ! Or to cook him out of his marriage !
Know your damn role ! Just as the name suggests , be on the side as the side chick you are , don't interfere , don't get involved, don't be a mediator in his marital problems !
Don't assist him in fighting his wife ! That's not your damn role ! Your role is to be on the damn side !
This man in question was a freaking adult !
If his wife was as horrible as he portrayed her to you , and you were as wonderful to him as you portrayed yourself ; he should have had the balls to take a walk and be with you !
Bear in mind that majority of the time , men don't say good things about their wives to side chick . They need your sympathy as a side chick, they also don't want you to feel bad about being their side chick . But let's say in this case his wife was actually bad , why don't he leave ?
That a man hid you for years , even after you had two kids for him , and his wife didn't have any child for him ; spoke a volume about his feelings for his wife ! His respect for his wife and marriage !
The greatest honour , love and respect a man will bequeath you as a woman he is in a relationship with , is to publicly declare his love for you ! Is to wife you !
People should stop trying to justify and validate wrongs.
If I am expected to empathize with you as a side chick ,then we might as well start sympathizing with rapist , child molesters and what have you !
We all make mistakes ; but let's not try to justify our mistakes in real life or on social media !
A spade is a spade , regardless of who is involved .
Regardless of the circumstances surrounding the situation .
Written by Nora Oma Patrick
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