Because of what I experienced lately I decided to know why some widows are bitter and jealous and stumbled into this article by Sue.
Recently I was asked why women become bitter when their husbands die. This person went on to elaborate her point of view that widows are not only sad and lonely but also bitter and jealous.
As cold and mean as her opinion sounded, it got me wondering if that description fits me. In some ways I am bitter. Bitter that I have to cope with life on my own. Bitter that Lane died and others don’t have a clue how that impacts everyday of my life. Bitter that as time goes on my old life seems more like a dream than a reality.
Jealous? Of course I am. It’s hard to fight those pangs of jealousy when I see couples together or have to go to a wedding or family gathering alone. Sure I am jealous of women who have husbands that they love and care for. I’m even more jealous when their husbands’ love and care for them like Lane did for me.
Have I turned bitter and jealous? Yes, I guess I have. I know those feelings don’t get me what I want but they are hard to control. I try not to come across as bitter or jealous. No one needs or wants to know my inner thoughts. Plus I don’t want to be labeled or criticized.
Do the feelings of bitterness and jealousy subside in time? After 7 years of widowhood I think I have learned to accept that some degree of bitterness and jealousy are normal. These feelings don't control my life or how I interact with others. I define that as subsiding.
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