My grandfather raped my mother part 2.

I have survived sexual assault and rape by my biological father, uncle, half-brother, step-father and other men.  Healing started to happen as I sought out counseling.  At the age of 19, I met my future husband.  He was the first man who treated me with respect and dignity.  We dated for two years before getting married in October of 1999, and he’s been my biggest supporter.

While my husband was away for training with the United States Navy, when I was 22 years old, I was raped by a stranger in a home invasion while I was sleeping.  I did everything “right” – I went to the hospital where we reported it to the police, and I had a rape kit done.  I was offered the Morning After pill, but I declined because I knew the risks involved.  The perpetrator was never caught.  My husband came home within 48 hours of the rape, and we moved to a new location for obvious reasons.

About a month later, I had a positive home pregnancy test.  I was scared and alone.  My husband was back at Naval Training again.   I went to a pregnancy clinic, not knowing the difference between a pro-life pregnancy resource and an abortion-friendly clinic which encourages and refers out for abortions.  At this clinic, I was strongly encouraged to have an abortion — particularly because I was pregnant by rape.  I was completely shocked and appalled!  I told them I did not want an abortion, and I promptly left.  I told my husband that I was pregnant, and I asked him if he would raise the child with me.  I was so scared that he might say no! He told me that just as I was a miracle, this child is also a miracle, and that he would love the child like his own.  In that moment, I felt secure and protected, but at the same time, I felt unworthy of such unconditional love.  Within another month, I began to bleed, and I either miscarried or had a false positive pregnancy test.  I had a accepted the fact that I was going to have a baby, and felt sad realizing that the baby’s life was gone.

I have had four miscarriages and the doctors told me that it was my genetic makeup due to my conception which makes me more susceptible to miscarriages.  Gratefully, my husband and I have two healthy children together.  My path of healing has taken so much hard work, but it has been worth it — God has been so gracious to me!  I reconciled with my biological father before he died and forgave him.  I have worked with my mom to rebuild a broken and confused relationship.  I am a Christian and find my Hope in Jesus Christ.  I have come to a place of peace about my conception and I can now voice my deep found identity in the One who created me.

I have now shared my story as pro-life speaker with church groups, youth groups, college groups, in the media and testifying before the state Legislature.  I desire to speak to the value of life — even the lives of those who, like me, were conceived in incest and/or rape.  As I have come to see my life as a precious gift given to me, I want the unborn lives of all to be protected from abortion, and I want every child to be protected from sexual assault.

I am going on 16 years of marriage with my husband Casey.  We have two beautiful children — a son and a daughter.  My family and I are members at Heritage Christian Fellowship. This coming Fall, I will be enrolled at Liberty University where I will be getting my degree in Government –Western Legal Traditions, so I may continue on to Law School.  My goal is to become a Constitutional Attorney so I can fight for the rights of the unborn, including those conceived in incest and rape.  I am working towards getting more involved in the Yahoo email support group for those who have conceived in incest/rape or who became pregnant by incest or rape.  I know God is calling me to use my story to offer hope and healing to others, and to show His goodness in my life!